Last but not least...

Today we celebrated Declan's 9th Birthday...it was a beautiful fall day, almost more like summer with temps in the 80's! We decided to go for a walk in the resevoir that is literally just up the street from our house. Declan of course took his football, we took the dogs, Emma, and Nora with the stroller knowing that we would end up carrying her or chasing her the entire time. The foliage is not in full peak yet but it is hard not love New England on a day like today...so peaceful and picturesque (well, minus Nora's annoying habit of screeching everytime she sees a dog or wants to get out of the stroller. We found a nice quiet place to sit by the water...did I mention this is a resevoir? Yes, so this water supplies drinking water for many surrounding areas...there are very strict rules about people, dogs, things NOT GOING IN THE WATER...well, I don't think I have to set up this story too much..you guessed it, Nora playing near the water ended up with Nora running into the water, sneakers, clothes and all...I literally ran in after her shoes and all...we were very thankful that the MDC police were not making rounds at the moment Nora decided to take a dip! The dogs were very jealous that they did not get a chance to break the rules today! So, we took a sopping wet two year old back to the car, all of that swimming must of have worn her out because she fell asleep in her stroller on the way back...not much phases this child. Getting ready to have cake with Gramma and Buddy and then our fall birthday fests are officially over...I guess it's time to think about Christmas! K

Birthdays...

So I have been really bad at keeping up with this blog...we have four fall birthdays in this family, three within days and weeks of one another and it is just an insane time of year...I actually prefer Christmas craziness! Our oldest Emma turned 14, Owen turned 11, Nora turned two and Declan turns 9 in one week...phewwww!!

I feel like we have been on a never ending roller coaster since Sept 1st, but we are slowly getting into a groove here. Once again I am amazed at how well my older children have adapted to so much change in their lives...as I am typing this the boys are taking Nora for a walk and selling pies for a school fundraiser ( I am getting more creative with how I incorporate some mommy time for me!!) They are such a big help to me and I am continually amazed at their patience and understanding on days when mine has all but run out.

Nora turned two on the 21st, we had a very small family celebration with her favorite ice cream cake and she seemed to love being the center of attention for the day (or every day for that matter...). We are still working on some very basic behaviors, she is still a non stop child, running, climbing, jumping, swinging...really, anything that she can figure out to do she will. I love this quality in her but it is downright exhausting on most days!!

I hope to be better in keeping up with the blog but in all honesty it is getting harder and harder to carve out the time...
Adding some pics of birthdays...Oh, Declan is going toa NY GIANTS football game for his birthday so he is one lucky boy!

K

It's almost time for school...

can you hear the excitement in my voice?? Honestly, I have such mixed emotions as I am sure my kids do about starting back to school...This year I will have three at three different school, three different starting and stopping times, bus stop times, schedules..oh my..I hope I can keep my head on straight. This is a big year for E and O, freshman in highschool and starting middle school, I am looking forward to all the new opportunites that will be opened up for them but a part of me is sad that they are growing up, so fast..too fast.

I am going to miss watching Owen and Declan walk to the bus stop together every morning, they are so different,..we call them Felix and Oscar...but they watch out for one another, one runs and one walks to the bus stop, one with his hair combed perfectly, the other one barely dressed...this year they will all be on their own but hopefully they will always know the comfort in having a sibling to turn to.

Tomorrow we are going to head to the beach one last time to soak up what is left of summer...here's to a great year ahead.
Stay tuned for First Day Pictures!! I posted a few of my favorite First Day of School pictures over the years...sniff sniff.

Blog From The Eldest Daughter

It seems like just yesterday she was sitting in a hotel room, and now she is humming a song below me in the kitchen. I take that back, it does not seem like just yesterday...to many tears,tantrums, laughter and m&ms have gone into this. Throughout the summer my parents and I would say to each other, "Today we were on the plane," "Today was the day you got caught in the door," "Today we discovered that really good mandu place," "Today was the day we met Nora,"

When we met Nora, we were all so nervous. My Dad had foolishly worn a long sleeve jacket and long pants, and I had spilled on the dress I was supposed to wear, so I wore a different one. My dad and I sat on the hotel room bed watching the travel channel while my mom buzzed around the hotel room, cleaning and getting ready. At one point she made me go upstairs to the lobby to acquire some scissors to cut wrapping paper with. When the time came, we were so nervous. We climbed into the cab, and the drive seemed to take so long. I actually think it was only 15 min. But for us that seemed like a hour. The people on the street walked around, selling food and rushing to work. The building was small and squished between others, but that didn't matter it was our doorway to Nora, the pathway to what would soon be ours. Now, one year later, she is ours. Or, I should say....We are hers. We gave her a home, and she gave us laughter and the gift of patience. For years she was a name, a photo. We could say "one day Nora will be eating Easter dinner here" But she wasn't there. We couldn't stroke her hair or kiss her "boo boos" When she came to us, she completed us. Now she runs through the kitchen, her feet so loud you can hear them in the upstairs. You can hear her screaming for the dogs to come (probably so she can try to wrestle them) and you can hear her babbling on the phone to some poor telemarketer. We are family.

I love you Nora. You little troublemaker.

Almost Two, but showing you FIVE...

24

In one month Nora will turn two!! Posting 24 facts because I don't want to forget what she was like at two..

1. Favorite word..No
2. Calls Steve "my Dad."
3. Loves Elmo and Curious George
4. I am "Mom Mom"
5. Drinks anything and everything
6. addicted to my ipad
7. loves her soft blanket that I sent to her in Korea
8. first word "dog"
9. second word "m&m's"
10. gave up her crib months ago
11. says "one, two, three" when jumping off the bed, the stairs, a chair...really anything she can climb.
12. Loves gum.
13. calls my mom "Gaga." as in Lady Gaga.
14. loves to climb and climb and climb
15. LOVES her brothers and sister
16. prefers my lipgloss to her chapstick
17. hates to have her hair combed
18. loves to play in the kitchen sink
19. helps herself to the ice cream in the freezer
20. cannot walk past a dog without petting it
21. rubs my face before falling asleep
22. fascinated with buckles
23. hates her diapers
24. has started to say "i love you."

One Year with Nora...

I haven't posted anything since the end of the school year...I wanted some time to just enjoy the summer, my children and life without wake up calls and schedules...but today as I was putting Nora down for a nap and watching her drift off I realized that I need to write a post about our first year home with her...So many emotions, so many moments of joy, frustration, giggles, tears, and triumphs...difficult to capture in words.

We are adjusting every day, we are learning what it's like to be a family of six, to share, to brush off hurt feelings, to miss nights of tucking in and reading to my boys, to go to bed before my 14 year old because I am just so tired...to realize that it will be close to another 10 years before we have a weekend get a way!! Despite all of those challenges we have the amazing priviledge to be this childs mom and dad, I have learned so much from this past year...I have watched my children become wonderful big siblings, they have changed diapers, shared toys, entertained Nora for endless hours, played hide and seek and chase, delighted in her accomplishments, and shared in her many "firsts" with us. In all of the confusion of life they have been my constant, they have taught me what it means to keep going, to turn the cheek and wake up with a new attitude the following day. I thought I had prepared myself for the challenges of adoption but it is more complicated on somedays then I could ever explain...but they underdstand and I am thankful for those moments.

Nora is a busy, determined, funny, curious little girl...growing up before our eyes and we love her with all of our hearts...

We had a great family day together at the beach, we shared one pizza on the beach and it wasn't enough for everyone...Nora finally decided she liked pizza! Life is never what we expect...

K

We found her kryptonite.

Turns out the fearless tiger has a weakness! Beside the fact that she is only 20 months, she has a ,surprise surprise, fear of inchworms! When confronted with one, she runs behind anyone close to her legs.

Here's to YOU Owen.

"Well, it's really happening mom..."

Those were the words that my ten year old greeted me with when he handed me the pile of permission slips that accompany the 5th grade celebration/graduation ceremony. So, I remember getting an autograph book and maybe a cupcake when I left 5th grade, ( I know, I am sounding old...) my 5th grader will get to go out to breakfast with the entire 5th grade class, followed by a bowling party, followed by a 5th grade Continuation Ceremony at school, followed by lots of tears from his mom. For some reason it just doesn't seem possible that I will have a daughter entering highschool and one son beginning middle school...it really hit me last night when Owen gave me all those papers to sign that he is growing up....for so long I have always thought of him as still "five." He was my easiest baby, always happy, always smiling, so content...and the chubbiest cheeks you have ever seen in your life...well now he still has a smile that melts your heart but there is also a little glimpse of some fuzz above his upper lip and those cheeks have slimmed down and he is no longer the five year old boy in my mind, but always in my heart.

Our family has definitely grown this past year, and not in just a physical sense with the addtion of Nora...I have witnessed growth in my children beyond what I could have imagined before we brought Nora home. Owen, especially has really become his own person, he is able to overcome some of his biggest obstacles and continues to do it with that endearing smile of his...which is sure to get him out of alot of trouble someday...or so he thinks! My biggest hope is that middle school will give Owen an opportunity to spread his wings and not just fly but take off!! He has so much to offer his classmates and his teachers, there is something inside that child just waiting to be discovered....there is no doubt in my mind that he will live his life with purpose.

And in case you are reading this Emma...yes, I will write a post about you going to highschool too!! (but I can only handle one kid at a time!!)

Here are some pictures of Owen that make my heart burst with happiness.
K

Nora and Her Sweet Tooth

Nora has an incredible sweet tooth, the first day with her in South Korea, she had a entire mint chocolate chip ice cream bowl. Everyday she cries out for cookies and bangs on our cabinet where the cookies are kept. She just licks out the cream centers of oreos, and with M&Ms with fillings she eats the chocolate part and then spits out the filling and play with it in her hand. Doughnut are no exception, she licks off the filling and sprinkles and then plays with the doughnuts. Do you have a sweet tooth or do your kids? Nora gives her sticky kisses.

Home 9 months.

Nora has been with us over 9 months now and I think we are finally starting to see who this child truly is...a wise woman once told me that when she is with us longer than she was with her foster family is when it will TRULY begin to feel real...I think of Nora's foster family all the time and how much they gave to her in 10 months and it always brings me back to that moment when we met them and had to walk away with Nora in our arms. Nora has so many facets to her start in life, her birth mom, her foster family and now her forever family...it is overwhelming to think of the day when she is going to ask the tough questions, I hope I will do my best to honor them all.

I know in my heart that when Nora kisses me now that they are true genuine kisses and when she has her tough moments and takes it out on me it's because somewhere inside that little heart she is missing someone or something..and a part of her always will. I love when she calls for me, "momma" I love when those little fingers wrap around mine when I kiss her goodnight, I am hopeful that everyday we are turning a brighter corner with our attachment.

I came across this quote about adoption and I think it is the most meaningful one I have ever read...it is exactly how I feel, now and forever.

"She is mine in a way that she will never be hers, yet she is hers in a way that she will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood." Desha Wood.

Answer Honest.

How much of your relationship is based on appearance? With your spouse, friends, even your parents and children? The other night, my mom made me watch a 20/20 with her, and I don't know if anybody else caught it, but the story was about a mother and wife who was in a fatal plane crash with her husband and family friend, which ended in a fire in the plane, and then caught onto a pile of logs near the plane. Anyway, long story short(er), she had about 60-70% of her body burned or something, and was in a coma for about 3 months, and doctors had to reconstruct her entire face structure, and her arms, and legs were very severely burned. This was about 2-3 years ago, and since then, she has been to numerous surgeries and laser treatments, but at first, even her children were afraid of her. When they first had gone to met her, they had refused to go in. Her 18 month old didn't even know who she was. But this got me thinking, it might be because they repeated this a million times during the program, how much of our daily relationships are based after our appearance? Because, I wether people ask it straight out or just give wary eyes, Nora and I don't look similar. But I don't think it's stopped us from being sisters. We will always look different, always. And one day she'll probably want to talk about this, and nowadays sometimes I think that she knows it. Actually, I know that she knows this, because she's a smart cookie. But this doesn't stop her from running, jumping, tickling, kissing and playing with me. Just like it doesn't stop those kids from loving and playing with their own mum.

-Emma

(p.s. Link to Stephanie's amazing blog, where you can read her full story and probably more accurate one- http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

The Nanny Cam.

Edited to add that this was posted by Emma:) I would never leave Nora alone while I used the bathroom...:) lol.

Me and my Dad.

Steve has been traveling this week and last night after another delayed flight he arrived home very late...I think Nora was probably a bit confused when she woke up crying at 3am and he went in to comfort her instead of me...but that's why he is such a great dad, letting me have a night off!!

We have been visiting the farm down the street almost every day for the past month, Nora really seems to love petting and "chasing" the ducks...shhh...lots of very nice reminders not to do that but she can't read the signs yet:) Nora is still struggling a bit with her speech but she actually said "animals" the other day when we pulled into the farm which is very exciting! A three syllable word!! Yeah! So, today after some bloodwork that she had to have and alot of awful screams, we took her to the farm to visit the pigs, and lambs, and goats...she found two little red benches that she loved to sit on so I snuck a picture in of Nora and Steve on the bench...

I look at her in her little pigtails and her red shoes and can't believe somedays that this spirited, feisty, adorable little one is all ours...so thankful she is.

K

Cousins.

Today we celebrated Declan's First Holy Communion. The sun was shining and so was Declan! We had such a nice day with our family, my parents were surrounded by all 12 of their grandchildren and my sisters and my niece and nephews...you really cannot ask for more. I love that my children are growing up with so many cousins, despite the distance we all make an effort to be there for the really special days and they just seem to pick up where they left off, whether it was last summer on the beach or opening Christmas presents all of them share a special bond that will carry them through their lives.

Nora is too young to realize it right now but she has an amazing group of cousins...I love them all.

So thank you to Jameson, Griffin, Kieran, Aidan, Colin, Adam, Ben and Grace, Emma, and Owen for being there for Declan today.

(and thank you to my husband who took 11 of them to play Laser Tag!)

K

I call this picture "stuck"

So, this is how Nora spends her day..CLIMBING!! Nora will climb on anything and everything that she can find and honestly I have tried to stop her but...why? She is determined to do it anyway. Determined is one word to describe this child, I am hoping that when she is older these qualities that she possesses now will serve her very well.

Keep climbing Nora just be careful.:)

Listen to this playlist: kbknora's Playlist

Hey guys! I'm 19 months old today!

A new beginning...

So, yesterday was Nora's official adoption day...a day when our agency is no longer considered her legal guardian and Nora officially became a Kutscher and an American citizen..all in the matter of about 3o minutes! As I sat in the court room at the table with Nora in my lap I felt surrounded both physically and emotionally by the people that mean the most to me...I tried my best to really be in the moment and enjoy the day because this has been such a long road. My thoughts wandered a bit to Nora's birthmother, especially when the judge asked if anyone had any objection to Nora becoming part of our family...I couldn't help but think of her first mom and the sacrifices she made so that Nora could be sitting on my lap on April 2oth, 2011. I know I have said this before, but I think it bears repeating...adoption is a wonderful thing but it does not come without loss...for Nora and her birth family...I still see moments of grief with Nora and I know that she is grieving what she has lost and someday she will be able to put words to that loss but now it comes out in different ways, in ways that only a toddler can express loss.

I was able to have contact with Nora's foster family the day before her finalization and when I told them of her special day they said, "oh Nora will have a second birthday now..." they felt that this final step was a new beginning for Nora, a beginning that she never would have had if it wasn't for their love and devotion to her for 10 months in Korea. I will be forever grateful for the love that they surrounded Nora with before we even knew she would be our daughter...

So, as we journey forward as an official family of six I feel so blessed to have family and friends in my life that were a part of this dream from the very beginning. I felt you lift me up so many times. You all made this road so much easier to walk.

Thank you...so much.
Kelly

Three years almost to the day...and Nora is forever ours.

It's been a long, wonderful, emotional, and most of all joyous day...but this mommy is tired so I am going to post pics and
hopefully find some quiet time to write later...it's been an amazing journey....
K

Me and my Dad.

Nora's routine after getting in her jammies is cuddling with her Dad on the couch...well, the cuddling comes after she finishes running and jumping up and down on the couch, nosediving on the pillows, climbing on the coffee table..I'm almost embarrassed to go on...oh, the things that this one gets away with that our others did not...I guess you learn to fight the bigger battles and relax a bit more...or maybe we are just tired???

Well, I will take the cuddles anyway I can get them these days...and she will grow up faster than we we can imagine and I think we will miss the jumping on the couch days.

K

Springtime in New England means...snow on April 1st!

Yes, today was April Fools day but waking up to snow covering the ground was no laughing matter...not when you have four children that are just anxious to pack away their snow boots for good and play outside after school!! Oh, and one mom who really needs to get more vitamin D from nature and not a pill every morning!! Winter in New England was beautiful this year but we are all in need of some fresh air around here!! Nora runs to the door to play outside and we have been lucky enough to have a few days when I have been able to take her to the park to play and not so surprisingly she LOVES to go down the slide on her belly!!
I am going to have to remember my camera for our next trip!

The month of April is going to be a really busy one around here...Emma's play is this coming weekend, Declan's First Communion and Nora's Finalization Day on April 20th! WOW, that's alot of events in one month...I am so looking forward to all of them and to finally have our "day in court" with Nora and our close friends and family too!!

Life is good here, we are looking forward to spending many sunny days with Gramma and Buddy who will be arriving home from Florida very very soon!! The kids have really missed their grandparents and I am not too old to say that I missed my mom and dad alot too!!

Happy Spring,
K

"Kelly, I have your referral..."

In two days it will be a year since I heard those words on the phone and saw our sweet baby's face for the first time! I cannot believe a year has passed since that day...the wait had become almost unbearable for me last year at this time. Truthfully, I was sad and anxious, questioning why all the time and wondering if this road we had taken was not meant to be...I had lost faith in alot of things, the process, the timing, the promises and then on friday, March 5th at 11:11 am (how cool is that?) my phone rang and it was the reassuring voice of our social worker. I was convinced that she was calling just to "check in" as she would say so that when she finally said those words to me that I had waited so long to hear I am pretty sure I said, "D, are you kidding me?" and I might have cursed as well....I told you I was losing it!! She reassured me that she was not joking and that we she had our referral, a little girl and she was healthy and oh yeah, pretty cute too.:)

The rest of the conversation is kind of a blur, I remember running downstairs to tell Steve and then running down another flight of stairs to open the email from our agency that would contain the most precious gift of all, a picture of Nora Eun-seo...When her picture popped up my heart just wanted to burst, I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders, an amazing feeling of gratitude swept over me, I felt calm and at peace and knew that I was looking at the face of my DAUGHTER...the face I had waited almost two years to see was in front of me, perfect and beautiful and she felt like she was meant to be ours. Gratitude is an amazing feeling when it is felt from the deepest part of your soul and the moment I saw her face I felt grateful to her birth mother for making the choice to give this precious child life, for enduring the pain and sadness of having to let her go, for allowing me the priviledge of being her mother, for having so much faith in the promise of her future that she would love her enough to be brought into our lives and our hearts...I believe at that moment is when I felt as close as I will ever feel to Nora's birth mom...thank you for giving us the greatest gift of becoming parents for the fourth time...we are forever grateful.

Nora...your curiousity and determination is one of a kind...you have brought a new light into our lives that burns brightly and shines with the promise of an amazing life!

Happy Referral Day...

K

The Many Words of Nora

"Mom"
"uh oh"
"oh no"
"no"
"emmaaaa"
"numnumn"
"dog"
"daaaaa"